Dont Rain on My Parade

Ever since Oprah went off the air (yes, I do realize she didn't go off the air, so much as get her "OWN" network so that she could be on the air all the time, but it just isn't the same and so I don't watch it and so it doesn't count here), I have really stepped up my reality-tv-watching game (you're impressed, I know).  I used to learn a lot of lessons from the big O, like self-defense when car-jacked and/or kidnapped, or, just as important, how-to-say-no.  Also, she really provided those cathartic cry-for-no-real-reason-in-front-of-my-tv moments on at least a weekly basis.  So, a few years ago I was crying it out, solo, over a story about a woman who triumphed despite the tragedy of losing all three kids in a car accident (or learning important lessons from the woman who was so busy she left her baby in a hot car all day, yikes) - and these days, I'm having cry seshes over Emily falling in love on the Bachelorette. No biggie (as a side note: how pitiful is it that I'm insinuating here that one of these things is more admirable than the other. Life. Fail.).

So, yes, I do understand that to most people I know, I'm a bit of a joke for my, shall we say, overindulgence in bad tv... But, I will say, it has helped me.  For example, I have strong-to-severe social anxiety that totally melts if you put me in a room with quite-literally ANYONE who watches ANY Housewives program.  Give me any franchise, any day of the week,and we can go on for at least a solid 20 minutes without awkward pauses.... (ok, that, in and of itself is pretty awkward...) Judge me all you want, but I can honestly say that this juvenile, time-wasting obsession has really strengthened some of my relationships.

Anyway, there's a lot of lessons I gather from these shows and it would be less than genuine - or, shall we say, "real"- if I didn't let these valuable tidbits guide my random musings here.

Specifically, this week, I'll pull from RHNY.  If this acronym means nothing to you, all you need to know as background is: housewives, white girl problems, and taking sides.

So Ramona gets mad she isn't invited on Heather's trip to London.  This covers the housewives and white girl problems portion of catch-up.  Ramona then gets more mad that her BFF, Sonja, isn't taking her side in the matter, behind Heather's back.

Real life connection: what is worse than hating someone by yourself?  I mean, seriously, is there anything better than going out on a limb with some folks to air out your dirty laundry and getting back that they feel the same way and hate the same things, and more importantly, people, than you? (example 2: how excited is Ramona to hear basically everyone tell her that Heather is essentially just as annoying as she is? Win.)

I have always said I didn't trust people who were happy and positive all the time.  I would typically explain that by saying that I don't trust them, they're not genuine, no one is that happy, yada yada.  But, truth be told, the really annoying thing about the girl (or guy, for that matter) that loves everyone they meet is that they really can rain on your sh**-talking parade (and, not to mention, they are likely not the brightest bulb in the bunch either - most people aren't really that easy to like).  So, I really relate to Ramona here.

I remember when I used to, at my own peril, tell my mom about all of the female drama I had (and, by the way, writing this makes me realize how long it has really been since I've had that sort of thing happen in my life, which both makes me happy and feel more evolved than the Housewives, so, there's that) and she would always - uh, let's say, "play devil's advocate"(I saw this as taking their side. Tomato/tomahto).  Once I complained, she said, "do you want me to always tell me what you want to hear, or do you want me to help you?". 

Uh. Right.  So, now that I'm older and wiser, I thank my mom for bringing me to my senses - to a more mature place and time in the universe where I only vent to those who will tell me what I want to hear.

Cheers to that. I'm now going to go write an entry for a contest to try and win a spot at the bar in Andy Cohen's clubhouse. Will update soon.

Green with Facebook Envy

Facebook Envy - we all have a little bit of it, right? As for me, each perusal of my news feed reveals photos of travels to exotic countries, big moves to exciting new cities, jobs as fashion magazine editors and Hollywood actors - all of others that I, at least temporarily, wish i could be. Really, honestly, even the constant barrage of baby pictures and wedding date reminders makes me a little green... I haven't been writing in my blog for a little while because I think that, somewhere in the midst of my own life changes and these images of what a great life is "supposed" to be, I lost a little bit of me. I have no idea where I'm going, but even more frightening, no clue as to where I really want to be. The primary assumption behind Facebook jealousies must be that the exploits that our 1000 closest friends find themselves enjoying - and posting for the world to see - must be quite fulfilling - either that, or they are something that WE would appreciate, if only we had the chance... [insert reasons why your life can't be as cool as that girl spending a random week in Thailand... Does anyone have a job anymore???] Of course, then there are those with the constantly negative Facebook posts. You know, the person who always has a crisis. My cat is dying, my pants split, my job sucks, it is raining, and I lost a limb today... Yadayadayada. Boresville. But then, of course, these Facebook friends play the imperative role of making you feel so much better about your own life. This is exactly why I insist on watching the Real Housewives (or, more importantly, Tough Love : New Orleans) - I am SO organized and together, comparatively speaking. The truth is, the majority of us likely find ourselves somewhere in the middle. Life is never perfect, whether documenting our cruise around the Mediterranean or not (although I think it doesn't hurt) or posting about our lives as stay-at-home moms - there's always someone else to be jealous of (what? Someone already came up with that? The grass is greener? Huh....) In the last year, as my life has changed drastically - I think I told myself that I didn't have much interesting to say anymore. If I don't have crazy dating stories or incredibly strong opinions about politics and social issues to share... Well, what do I really have? The reality is, that I was likely never that interesting to begin with and anyone reading this is probably doing me a favor (which I appreciate, so thanks!). But I'm learning more than ever about myself and maybe those are the kinds of things I should share. So, that's it for tonight. I'm going to make a more concerted effort to update more and pressure myself less to come up with super witty and/or importantly intelligent posts. There are some major life changes in the works, but nothing that can be shared with my tens of readers yet... Xo.xo.