I'm sure most of you have been wondering why I don't blog more. In fact, I'm rather certain that thoughts concerning my blog occupy most of your minds, most of the time.
(*realistically, I know it's actually presumptuous for me to even address a plural audience, as it reflects the assumption that more than one person even reads this - hi mom :) )
Seriously though - irrespective of the size of my audience, I do enjoy my little blog, and don't add to it more frequently because of this whole "simple life" I've sort of intentionally, sort of unintentionally, adopted.
I don't have Internet or cable. I probably will break down soon and get the Internet. It is sort of lame that I have an IPad and a new laptop and don't have the Internet (or any un-password-protected wireless connections to scam from). The reason I'm not "plugged in" is really more out of laziness and general I-object-to-Brighthouse-cable-ness than anything else.
As far as cable goes -- there's a bit more deliberate intention there. I basically am addicted to cable. When I do have cable, my heart palpitates and my palms sweat just thinking about all of the things I need to watch to clear room on the DVR box. I mean, godforbid an episode of Dancing With the Stars is bumped off the box before I make room in my schedule to fast-forward through it.
My weakness is specific to reality tv. More specifically, Bravo programming. Love. It.
And, so, this strangely long and rambling opening finally arrives at my point. One of those rare moments when a news story combines my two loves - criminal news stories and reality tv - in a manner that not only begs for, but requires a blog post (home Internet connection, or no).
Read on:
http://abcnews.go.com/US/florida-woman-dalia-dippolito-reality-tv-defense-murder/story?id=13467249
First of all, we can speed over the obvious: the weird news always happens in Florida. I know.
Sooo... this woman is caught on (undercover police) camera, soliciting what she [allegedly] believes is a hitman to kill her husband. Surprise, it's an undercover cop.
Before giving her the whole, surprisewe'recopsputyourhandsup!, schtufff, these [prone-to-drama] cops then call some more cops (this time in uniform) to tell her that her husband is dead. [cue performance worthy of reality tv, fo. sho.]
**the video of her Oscar-performance reaction can be seen on the page you find at the above link. worth watching.
Ok, so, she's caught red-handed. Until... she comes up with BEST DEFENSE EVER.
She claims that, the whole time police are interviewing her, she is waiting for her husband just to walk in at any moment. Because A- she knows he isnt really dead and B - her husband has orchestrated his own contract killing, not as a strange suicide plot, but rather as some sort of complicated way to get his own reality show???
Let's take a moment to reflect, as this information presents several interesting questions for the viewer.
A) What kind of reality show would this be?
I suppose some sort of Newlyweds drama meets Jersey Shore type drunk violence situation??? Nick and Jessica were cute when they bickered. Mike and Dalia would have been cute when they... plotted one another's murders???
***As apparent as my sarcasm may be, I will be honest: I would watch this
B) I was going to say: what sort of idiotic lengths are we to believe a person would go to in order to be on tv? Then I realized this was a dumb question, in an era where a brilliant pair of parents would send a balloon into the air, while convincing a nation that their child was in said balloon, whilst said child is actually being held hostage in a garage/basement, only to further their reality tv careers... and then I withdraw my question.
Ok... so, picking up where we left off:
When I got to this point in the story, I thought... ok. Well, didn't the husband just tell the police that he planned this, therefore making the prosecution of this case kind of needless and, well, stupid?
But, then you get to the part of the story where the husband testifies and says he has noideawhatshestalkingabout and was pretty shocked when he found out his wife had hired someone to kill him.
Major. Fail.
There's other evidence against her, such as text messages and independent witnesses that are supposedly going to support the State's case against her. Likely this means she will testify herself. Likely this means I will watch it.
As a side note, there are some important ironies to point out:
1- During the sting that led to her arrest, the [original] reality show Cops was taping an episode. No matter what happens, she wins in the famousforthewrongreasons department.
2- Dalia has been on reality tv shows before. Most notably, she was on an episode of The Jamie Kennedy Experiment (speaking of major fails), that... wait for it... featured a plot line involving a fake hit man!
You just can't write this stuff.
