Ok, ladies - 'fess up: Who among us has conjured up a fake tear or two, just to get a man's attention?
As an extreme example, otherwise-successful weather woman, Heidi Jones, recently confessed to making up an entire rape story, just to get attention from an ex-boyfriend.
Crazy? Definitely. Extreme? Of course. But maybe not something we can't all, at least intellectually, understand.
Women sometimes try to get sympathy - and it's not just the certifiably crazy ones like Ms. Jones. I think it must be somehow programmed into us -- you get what you want when you cry. (Hello... officer... I'm so sorry.... :-( *tear = no ticket).
But, there seems to be another side to that. I know that, personally, almost every man I've ever known became exceedingly uncomfortable around tears. I always attributed that to their inferior emotional intelligence -- everyone knows, men don't deal with emotions, right? In fact, I've encountered men who actually seemed insulted by my pitiful weeping behavior. One boyfriend once told me that he thought my emotional reaction (crying) during a fight seemed equivalent to his emotional reaction (screaming at me) -- all women I know probably find that to be a ridiculous comparison (and I know I told him it was) -- but not sure if all men would agree. And, of course, we all know about the ugly cry--
(a la Dawson's Creek):
So, what's my point?
There's apparently now scientific data to support the fact that we, women, are actually more UNATTRACTIVE when we cry. Now, I know we may have known it to be manipulative -- maybe even dishonest at times. And maybe, just maybe, some of us value control over our emotions as sort of an overrated concept. But if we find out that it actually makes us, scientifically, evoluntionarily, certifiably less attractive... well, maybe that will catch our attention (I know it has mine).
A study from John Hopkin's University:
says that a woman's tears actually make her less sexually attractive to men. If you want the scientific details, check out the story -- but let me summarize:
First of all, there are two types of tears: emotional tears, and "I-have-something-in-my-eye" tears, and, apparently, they are chemically different (weird). This study focuses only on emotional tears.
Secondly, men cannot consciously smell the difference between real tears and fake tears, but subconsciously, it seems they are affected (much like the whole pheremone concept).
Apparently, when men sense a woman's tears, their testosterone levels go down. Now, evolutionarily, this probably has a purpose: it causes men to be less aggressive -- you know, so they dont go all "Cave Man" on you while youre in a time of need. However, this also means their sex drive goes down... Could this be the reason behind the age-old question discussed at every ladies' night I've ever been to?? (ie. women seem more into make-up sex than men... maybe it's the tears!)
Also, it seems, that despite the dip in testosterone, men do NOT become more empathetic at the sight of tears.
So... basically... we've had it wrong all along! Tears may send a man into a panic, and may cause him to do things for you out of guilt -- but will NOT cause him to: love you more, think you're prettier, or even to understand you better. I think it just sends off some sort of panic alarm in their brain and causes much confusion.
In conclusion, consider this your science lesson for the day. But, also: think twice before the tears. A low-cut top might prove more effective.
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