Let's begin with a little story:
http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.chicagotribune.com%2Fnews%2Fchi-ap-mi-readingwifese-ma%2C0%2C5061389.story&h=b4102
http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.chicagotribune.com%2Fnews%2Fchi-ap-mi-readingwifese-ma%2C0%2C5061389.story&h=b4102
I find this interesting for many reasons. First, there's the criminal defense attorney in me. This makes me think of practical legal implications - such as:
-Did this woman actually call the police for this? Or, more importantly - did the police actually respond for this? Sadly, it is probably less surprising to me that the State Attorney's Office is prosecuting this man for this -- but you should probably be upset and shocked by this.
-Could any jury really find this man guilty? Yeh, this is a good day for jury nullification.
But, more importantly, and probably more relevant to everyone I know -- it makes me think of the fact that I (hypothetically, for fear of facing similar prosecution myself) could have apparently been prosecuted for the same thing. Of course, I have found many reasons in my Elizabeth-Taylor-like love life to avoid snooping. Namely, there's that crack-like addiction that takes over the soul once you start. If you find something - you want to know more. If you dont find anything - you want to keep looking. I think it's a mix of the insecurity that can plague any relationship and the voyeurs that I know we all are at heart.
Oh - and then there's the moment when you DO find something, and then what? Either you confront the person, and really, risk revealing what youve been doing all this time while your partner showers -- or, keep it to yourself and let it eat away at your soul??? It's sort of a lose/lose.
Ok, and I think we all know, in the logical parts of ourselves, that in a relationship where you feel you NEED to snoop -- there's already a problem (ahem, lack of trust). Unless, of course, youre THAT person who has snooped one every person youve ever dated. Then you just have a problem.
The funniest thing about this story is that it is SO typical. First, the dude was right. I mean, he snooped because he had a suspicion, we can assume. And, it seems that he was right. And then, the bitch called the police on HIM. Typical!
Let me illustrate:
I had a boyfriend and I didnt trust him (for very good reason, but that's foreshadowing). Things got to a bad place, and I went through great lengths to look at his phone. I found as much proof as I possibly could have (I mean, it's rare that someone finds the flaming gun, I guess... like this woman on Maury the other day said she THOUGHT her boyfriend MIGHT be cheating because she found lip gloss on his genitals... but I digress), but he would never admit to any of it. The more I found, the crazier I was, according to him. Although, I can say, he may have been right -- I was pretty crazy to be putting all of that energy into finding what I already knew, instead of, oh - I dont know... moving on? But, we'll chalk that up to temporary insanity, and move on...
This is what we call the blame game. The cheater, blinded by guilt (or, perhaps, in this particular situation, a severe case of antisocial personality disorder), projects this bad feeling on the cheatee by making them feel crazy. Men (sorry, but I have to go sexist for a minute) love to do this. But this woman -- wow. She took it to a new level by calling the police?
Anyway -- let this be a lesson to us all. Snooping never helped anyone, but apparently, it can also be a felony. And if you're really suspicious, let a professional, like Joey Greco or Maury Povich, handle it for you.
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